Have you ever been one of those types? You know, the ones who come out of the bathroom all blotchy-faced from squeezing pimples? Do you get sucked in when you see one of those awful complexion mirrors that make even the nicest skin look like the surface of the moon?

I was that person, and I found it leaked over into other parts of my life. When you “pick on” yourself or other people, it’s the same idea as picking your pimples. One practice I incorporated into my life, that has drastically changed my world and how I interact with it, is changing negatives into positives. It started with the Law of Attraction, and I interpreted the book to mean I needed to focus on what I WANT, vs what I don’t want. “The Secret” says that the universe doesn’t know the difference between positive and negative.

Here’s an example, and I think this came to mind because I have a teenage daughter right now.

You’re 13, and your face is breaking out suddenly. Every day, as you look in the mirror, you think, “Ugh! I don’t want more zits!” And then you go at them with a vengeance, until your mother yells at you to get your face out of the mirror. In that five minutes or so, you have managed to focus in on the flaws in your skin and make them worse! Why? Because what you really focused on was, “Ugh! I don’t want more zits!”

Now, consider this scenario, same kid, same pimply face. When you look in the mirror, you think, “I want a peaches and cream complexion.”  With that image in mind, you make sure to do what is necessary to achieve your goal, such as drink lots of water, get good rest, cleanse and moisturize twice a day, and keep your hands occupied on things other than your face. You can imagine the result is better.

I thought of blogging about this when a new acquaintance of mine, Jasmyne Boswell, notified her mailing list that she was releasing her book “What If the Problem’s Not the Problem???” Now, I haven’t read the book, but I can certainly guess that it has something to do with perception. Go check it out and let me know. It’s coming out on Kindle soon!

Perception is everything. When my friend and former director Marni Lun told me that, at first I didn’t get it. I finally realize she was right on the money. When you focus on the positive, you see it all around you, and vice versa.

Okay, your turn.

Here’s an exercise for you, and I challenge you to teach this to your children if you have any. I remind my daughter every day to rephrase things.

1. Think of the one thing that you are most unhappy with in your life.

2. Become aware of your thoughts regarding that part of your life. Don’t judge, just notice where the thoughts tend to go. Do you think, “I absolutely will not gain weight this holiday season,” or perhaps, “I don’t want to be with another person who is going to cheat on me.” Remember, don’t judge your thoughts.

3. Now, rephrase those thoughts one at a time. “I want to stay healthy and active this holiday season.” “I deserve to be with a partner who is honest and respectful.” Now, I will rephrase my statement “don’t judge” to, “Stay positive, focus on the lesson.”

4. Have fun with it! See how many thoughts you can catch and switch around each day.

Then, let me know how it went. If you are consistent, you will start to see a shift in how you view the world, and a huge shift in how other people see you. Positive people are nice to be around.