117- Springing from the stillness, and making vindaloo curry

I vanished.

Rather, my mind finally took a hiatus, and therefore so did I. I have sat down several times with the intent to write, as my journal and mind are full of realizations, visions, poems, metaphors, etc. I just didn’t want to go there. My mind was out of town for the weekend. Thank God!

Last week, I had so much going on that was pressing and stressful, combined with incessant processing. I couldn’t stop it! My mind was taking everything that has been happening and reassembling pieces of the puzzle to make sense of it all. Turns out some of the pieces are jokers and help many different pictures come together.

In some sense, I can see parts of patterns dancing in space in my mind. My mind picks out the most pertinent parts, the ones that stick out in my mind, and then goes to town trying to figure it all out. I liken it to the computer in WarGames, which tried every possible scenario in order to learn.

Interestingly, as soon as I finished my stressful tasks on Friday, I had a huge internal shift. Things didn’t bother me as much. My mind didn’t make mountains out of mole hills. My physical energy was back up, as was my patience, my compassion, my humor, and even my creativity.

All weekend long, without the stress looming over me, and without the incessant processing, I was happy to just BE. I randomly decided to organize my necklaces. They are so pretty, and I have so many, and I never wear them. Taking the time to do this, without a plan or set amount of time, was calming, creative and therapeutic. Indeed, it was celebratory.

I enjoyed cleaning, nay, scrubbing, the kitchen and vacuuming the floors. Then, I cooked a nice big lunch for everyone, just because I felt like cooking. I tried something new, mixed what I felt sounded, looked and smelled good together, and trusted myself. Who knew golden and red beets, cabbage, green beans, and vindaloo seasoning would go so well together? I also went to 5Rhythms dance, and was able to experience many new connections and releases.

Sometimes, stress can stimulate creativity, but it feels more compulsive. During these times, I feel I have to get the words down in order to help myself better understand, to document these thoughts so I can look back and see patterns that will help keep me from getting on this freight train again.

Relief of stress can also stimulate creativity, but one which comes out of stillness. Creativity inspired by stress is often gut-wrenching, while the creativity from relief of stress simply IS. Whatever the catalyst, it is all life-affirming. And that creativity is movement, of emotions, of the body, of the mind and soul. Movement keeps us in the flow, keeps us from getting stuck.

Which is why we need to acknowledge our stresses, acknowledge our true emotions and find a way to express them. When our emotions are denied their expression, movement ceases, along with creativity, which is the natural expression of our life force.

If you do one thing different today, I urge you to check in with how you REALLY feel, and then express it without worrying about the other person’s reaction. Be compassionately blunt about how you feel, without apology or justification. I bet it goes better than anticipated.

Then come back here and share your experience.