77- Tar Baby

The battle within

A part of me crops up, like a spoiled child, wanting its way

A baby born out of the want for love, need for affirmation, the drive to seek acceptance

Born out of lack of love, security, fulfillment, awareness, acceptance

It is the self turned against Self

What do you want, and why won’t you go away? How can I know of understanding and acceptance and love, and yet not feel it?

The black voice, oozing in between the rays of golden light, like tar

Telling me I am not worthy, I will forever be alone, I will never be good enough, no one will love me unconditionally

Like tar, the more I try and clear it, the more it smears across my life

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76- In the middle

In the middle, the juncture

The place where the words of loved ones battle for a place in my life

Let them battle. Let them have their say. I will not choose to follow either

Guided by more, I can no longer be the chameleon

Love meets judgement

In my inner child’s heart

A figment, a remnant of the falsehood I once embraced

Finding my way through a hall of mirrors

‘Incompetent, failure, false, shame, fear, judgement, guilt’

‘Joy, capable, competent, trustworthy, real, acceptance, Love…’

One reflection has no labels and looks nothing like Me, but feels like ME

In this mirror is All, a million stars, a love so expansive, it breaks all boundaries and yet holds All tenderly

Black shadows dancing, swirling, lunging, only to burst into a million more stars, and then a million more

Until all I know is All

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71- I feel you

Love knows no separation.

My chest expands, my cheeks flush.

Electric passion courses up my spine, around my head, and up to the heavens, lifting my heart and lips in blissful smiles, blissful sighs.

When I close my eyes, I feel you.

When you touch me, I am seen.

Two souls dancing in the candlelight, caressing the space of one unified heart.

We breathe as one, bending, surrendering, supporting.

Loving.

Mid-night reverie, cartwheels under the stars.

My heart is overflowing into song!

I feel you.

I am you.

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40- Web of Narcissism

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Ever been with people who make you feel crazy?  Usually it’s an intimate relationship, or perhaps a family member. The way I define the craziness is like a spider web. The scenario goes a bit like this: You are a … Continue reading

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5- Diving Off That Cliff Seemed The Best Thing To Do

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 I want to let you in on a little secret. There are no problems. Problems just mean the world isn’t turning out the way you want it to. Everything is unfolding as it should.   –Robert Adams My first post was … Continue reading

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