It’s the day after Christmas, and I am sitting in an airport reflecting on my visit with family in good ol’ Nuevo Mexico, and on the last year. What a year it’s been! I think it’s good to take stock during the holidaze, when we reconnect with family (hopefully), fill up with gratitude, and head into a new calendar year.
Since I only get to visit family once a year now, it is pretty evident how each of us has changed over the year. Nothing will reflect that back to you faster than interacting with family.
So, what was 2015 for me?
First and foremost, it has been a year of getting to know and APPRECIATE myself. I have known my dark side for years. I have picked myself apart and know all too well my flaws. This year, I have been learning to love and appreciate myself. What has come out of that is nothing short of empowering.
2015 was a year of setting boundaries, of knowing my limits with others, and honoring them. This means actually expressing them freely and effectively, which is still the hardest part for me.
It has been a year of expressing my worth, my needs and desires, and making sure they were met, either by myself (usually the case), or at my work, or in relationship. I have accepted and embraced that I alone am responsible for my happiness and abundance.
The year started with a heinous divorce, where I strove at each turn to NOT be the victim, but instead stand strong and true to who I am and what I felt was right. It was a 9-month process of striving for absolute integrity and honoring my Self, which caused the other to buck and try and exert his “power” over me. In the end, the path of Truth is the most powerful, and the one I strive to stay on every day of my life.
It has been a year of starting new challenges, and loving my ability to focus and strive for a goal instead of shooting it down. I had gotten into the habit of shooting down anything in my personality which allows me be exceptional at something. Well, screw that! I am thankful for those traits, so long as I use them for good and don’t use them to solely please others. So long as I am driven by my heart, I can’t go wrong.
It was a year of being mostly single and truly learning to love being with myself. Yes, I get lonely at times. Those times are brief, and I know that now, and I can choose to reach out to someone or go inward. I have come to realize that when we feel lonely is often when we have lost touch with our Selves.
Finally, it has been a year of truly allowing myself to embrace the parts of myself I have shunned, the parts of my personality that have led me astray in the past. I am finding that when I come from a place of self love, the parts of me that nearly killed me can now lift me up and lift up others in the process.
In 2016, I look forward to continuing to better myself, to embrace the changes and the challenges that come to me, and to love myself at every turn.