142- Oh, to Die Again, and Again….

You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again,
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.
~T.S. Eliot

Photo by Lee Johnson www.collectivescience.org

For several years, the month of September was a time of loss for me. It symbolized loss of relationships, loss of my mental stability, and loss of a life. September 25th, in particular, was a critical day for me two years in a row.

Today, I realized it is that fateful day again, and yet so much has changed. I still feel that September is a month of change for me. As the start of Autumn, it is a time of dying to the old and bringing in the new. It is a time to let go of distractions and go inward.

Today, I committed to several days of no social interaction with others, other than what is necessary for daily living. It is time to be quiet with myself, time to honor dying to myself and envisioning where I am now and where I am headed. I sense amazing manifestations in my future.

The quote above reflects the constant and simultaneous cycle of death and birth, something I feel intimately connected to lately, more than ever. This process of constantly shedding the old self for the new is a daily process, moment to moment even.

The value of letting go of what, where and who we think we are/like/dislike is immeasurable, and the value cannot be seen until one has started that journey. It is a lonely journey.

To truly listen to your own Heart, you must be in solitude, without the influence of others, without the pull on heart strings that keep others in the picture and cloud your vision of YOUR ideal future.

I have never fully committed to solitude in this fashion, and I am excited to be with myself, to learn about myself in that solitary silence. It is time to manifest the next stage in my life.