I got busy with the Hurricane Sandy deployment and couldn’t keep up with the posts, but I will go back and post the pics, because it was an awesome experience.
TONIGHT,… tonight…. I have felt so many waves of emotion. The morning started off with a jolt. My daughter didn’t catch the bus, so I jumped out of bed and into the car to take her to school, an hour out of my day. But, I was super productive the rest of the day….. and when it came time to take a mental break, I welcomed it.
Time with friends, without fear of what I should be doing, knowing I am in the right flow for ME….. it’s sublime. Free, happy, joking, not stressing about whether I was gone for a half hour or an hour and a half. I took my time, enjoyed it, without reservation.
Then, I came home, continued work, but knowing the bulk of my work was done. My roomie was home, and we made dinner and had a great talk. I was in the flow, so in the flow, full of life and love and zest and passion, and goofiness… after the preparation of dinner, and the eating of the salmon, quinoa and my special brussels sprouts with Dubliner cheese, we cleaned up together like good partners do, and then we went to our respective quiet spaces….
And I got emotional. Maybe it’s the soft music playing, or the fact that I drank a lot of booch, and I had an emotionally opening 3 hours… or maybe because I am just relaxed, but I started missing people. I started reaching out to other people I wanted connection with. And I found the tears coming so softly, so easily, like a gentle stream overflowing. My forehead didn’t scrunch up, and my head didn’t hurt. My eyes just overflowed, gently, as I texted an old friend, as well as a new friend.
I wanted a hug, but didn’t tell anyone. My daughter knew, and she came and offered me a hug. I thought I was supposed to offer her that, but sometimes, when the kid gets older, they can offer up a hug, even to their moms.
Free flowing, like life “should” be. Like I texted my friend, “Life. Cosmic and comic, all at the same time.”