I read today a beautiful post, written by a girl to a recently discovered love, asking about what makes him tick, what his shadows are, what he likes in a woman, in a day, a flower, etc. It was very sweet, and something I resonate deeply with. I know that when I meet someone special, I want to know all about them.
Yet, I realized that it is all too easy to focus on what the other likes to the point where, perhaps, you are bringing out in yourself only what that person likes most. At some point you are quite likely neglecting those parts of you that you fear the other won’t be wont to adore. It’s a slippery slope, and often not recognized until you are knee deep in the mud and heading swiftly downhill. I know, as a chameleon of sorts, it’s easy for me to do that. It’s a skill used in networking, teaching, and presenting. It’s not healthy long-term in relationships.
Imagine having that same curiosity about yourself. When do we ask ourselves (really, remind ourselves) of what we prefer most, the sunrise or sunset? A big gala or a night out under the stars? What is the one event in my life where I have felt freest? What scares me the most and why haven’t I tackled that yet? What makes ME tick? When someone ticks me off, do I storm off, shut down, talk it out? What ticks me off? What makes me laugh the hardest? Why do I not partake in what makes me laugh more often? What scares me the most and why?
Wood nymph, mermaid, phoenix or butterfly? What is my bottom line in a relationship? Do I stick to that bottom line? Do I say what I mean and mean what I say?
When we stay curious about ourselves while learning about another we stay centered and in our process. We remain curious about our own process vs. getting pulled off center by our attraction and desire to connect, please, etc.
It’s meditation in action, to be pulled toward another while remembering to stay with ourselves. It is, in my experience, the way to get to know ourselves better through getting to know another. And when you stay true to your morals and your Self, you are bound to attract the same. How beautiful is that?