I have, for several years now, recorded thoughts on my phone, often while driving. Well, when I got a new phone, I downloaded a different app, and it downloads in mp4 format, which won’t upload, so I have several posts I will be transcribing from audio (and then using a different app for recording!)
I find myself checking my phone like it’s going to reveal something amazing to me, or I guess give me a distraction from the real world, which makes me wonder what I am running from…having to make a decision, having to make stuff happen, or feeling like I do…wanting some guidance and clarity on what’s next,….keeps me from having to feel what’s happening in the moment.
And obviously, since I haven’t been letting myself feel that, I don’t know what’s happening in the moment right now. I can say it’s kind of uncomfortable, and yet I am not really feeling anything. But I know, I just know there’s something underneath it all.