28- The problem is not the problem

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” ~Theodore I. Rubin

People talk so often about how life will be better once they resolve this issue or that issue, or when their life slows down, etc, etc. My hunch is those people would wait themselves into their grave. Problems are just challenges, and part of the challenge is admitting where you caused the problem or that you have no control and need to let go.

My life is full of challenges lately, but I wouldn’t call them problems. They are, in fact, all opportunities for growth. What breaks down the reality you have built up allows you the freedom to rebuild a better, more authentic reality.

In that vein, having “problems” is a gift from the universe. It is your chance to resolve an issue that is holding you back. When similar problems keep cropping up, it is the universe giving you chance after chance to learn the lesson.

Think of the problems in your life. Are they problems because you don’t want to face them? Maybe you don’t want to admit fault for the problem? Perhaps you feel out of control of the situation and that bothers you. There is your lesson there. You can’t control your life.

If people are your problem, see them as a mirror. I spoke with my counselor tonight about the fact that so many men I have dated were narcissistic and/or emotionally unavailable. These men had no empathy toward me. They were not the problem. The “problem” actually serves as a mirror to show me that I don’t have enough empathy for myself. I am learning, bit by bit, through all of these challenges in my life, and while I am scared about what may lie ahead, I am also excited at the opening I am having in myself through dealing with these challenges in a conscious way.