I commented on a Blog Post recently talking about alternative relationships, but what struck me was the discussion around the dynamics of a circle. Specifically, the writer discussed the power of the circle in relationships.
Following is my response:
I see the rippling out of water as a stone drops in, and the circle of relationship can hold the space for everyone, letting the ripples flow through them. If you just stay true to each other and to yourselves, and stay fluid when the waves pass through, the circle will hold strong.
What really solidified me writing about this comment was the barrage of angry comments from my daughter I received….that I receive almost daily (gotta love those teens!).
It is hard to hold a safe space and let her speak her mind while also making sure I honor myself.
With counseling, I am getting better at not reacting so much, but I feel that is a lifelong pursuit. What I noticed tonight was a small instance where her comments, as mean as they were, did not trigger anger, guilt (the usual emotion), confusion, or frustration.
She really is just a 13-year-old venting, and didn’t sound much different than the immature rantings of many of my peers (myself included).
Picturing again the circle of water with ripples, or even large waves like the ones tossing me around in the ocean today, I can sense the shift in me. I didn’t get wrapped up in the comments or what they meant, and simply let her have her time to vent.
In order to hold that safe space for both of us, I need to stay in the circle, face my daughter and myself, and stay true to both her and myself. With surrender, we can navigate the waters, where resistance will surely make us drown.
In yielding comes strength and fluidity.