I haven’t thought about the make up of Love in some time, not in depth anyway. I have felt it, embraced it, expressed it, but not wondered what it is.
Last night, my daughter shared with me her journalling about Love. What is it? The “hopeless romantic” as she calls herself wondered if it is when you can’t stop thinking about someone, or when you can’t imagine being without someone, and all of the fairy tale notions of love.
I was hard pressed for a response, as I have come so far from that notion of Love. Yes, it can be romantically expressed, but unlike all the Disney films she grew up with, it is not based on need.
Thinking back to the times when I, too, thought that love meant these things, I told her, “I think love changes and deepens with each person you love. You learn more about yourself in relationship with others, and as you learn about and respect yourself more, the love you experience deepens.”
“Love yourself first. Honor your Self, and set safe boundaries. If you love and honor yourself first, you will attract someone who can honor that.”
I thought back to the times that I didn’t know safe boundaries, to when I didn’t love and honor myself, and all the pain it caused me. “I pray you don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t wait to love yourself,” I told her.
I know she will have to go through the same course as most people of understanding herself, and understanding herself in relationship, and the heartache in between the lovers.
It is in that space between the lovers where we first go deep inside and grow.
What is love to you? How has your view of Love changed?