89- Getting to Not Know You

Yesterday, I talked about dying to myself, something that has been happening bit by bit since I broke my pelvis in 2008. I was going full speed ahead all the time. I was a single mom in professional school, competing in both cycling and triathlon, and getting stronger everyday. I held positions in national committees, and many people wondered how I did it all. I didn’t know how NOT to do it all.

When I broke my pelvis, I was forced to stop and smell the roses. For the first time ever, I actually embraced the fact that life had sent me a strong message to SLOW DOWN. I found that when I slowed down, I didn’t stop! Life kept moving, and I was able to actually observe my life a bit. That day was when I started dying to myself. Something happened inside of me that set off a domino effect.

I read a great blog this morning titled The Tortoise Drags His Tail, and it talked about getting To Not Know You. It is very much learning to not apologize for being who you are, to keep each moment fresh and present, have no regrets, and die to the self that you envision.

It talks about not apologizing for being yourself. This is so critical. Why do we apologize? Because somewhere deep down we think we are not OK. Some inner voice tells us we are not doing enough. That voice is programming from someone else in your past. It is not you. It is the ego, not the Self.

Today, I will be present with myself and treat each moment as if I was beginning a new friendship. At each moment, I may surprise myself.

I urge you to try and do the same. As the full moon rises, let go of the concept in your mind of your self, get to Not Know You, and let each moment rise organically, without judgement, without fear.