Reality is impermanent.

Happiness is impermanent.

Even though I know that my reality is all a product of my mind, I find that I am down. When do I give myself a break, and when do I kick myself in the butt?

I find myself both longing for connection, but also knowing that I need time absolutely alone to process what is going on with my body and my mind, and especially my heart.

I am closing down, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I am tired of protecting myself. Like a fly in a spider web, I find myself entangled in an old, painful pattern that I thought I was leaving behind. Not sure how vulnerable to be and how protected, and I don’t feel like I should have to worry. Evidently, I have some major healing still to do.