111- Going Down the Rabbit Hole To Uncover My Emotions


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Facebook has been quite the source of inspiration for me lately. In my feed are really only positive affirmations, food for thought, life affirming statements and pictures. One page, Meditation, has posted some really great stuff. The following is a … Continue reading


92- From Human Do-ing to Human Be-ing


Yes, that’s where I have been, in a time warp. I have lost track completely (almost) of days, hours, whether I blogged for the day or not. Life has been very different, very fulfilling, and soul-opening lately. It’s amazing what … Continue reading


89- Getting to Not Know You


Yesterday, I talked about dying to myself, something that has been happening bit by bit since I broke my pelvis in 2008. I was going full speed ahead all the time. I was a single mom in professional school, competing … Continue reading


77- Tar Baby

The battle within

A part of me crops up, like a spoiled child, wanting its way

A baby born out of the want for love, need for affirmation, the drive to seek acceptance

Born out of lack of love, security, fulfillment, awareness, acceptance

It is the self turned against Self

What do you want, and why won’t you go away? How can I know of understanding and acceptance and love, and yet not feel it?

The black voice, oozing in between the rays of golden light, like tar

Telling me I am not worthy, I will forever be alone, I will never be good enough, no one will love me unconditionally

Like tar, the more I try and clear it, the more it smears across my life


76- In the middle

In the middle, the juncture

The place where the words of loved ones battle for a place in my life

Let them battle. Let them have their say. I will not choose to follow either

Guided by more, I can no longer be the chameleon

Love meets judgement

In my inner child’s heart

A figment, a remnant of the falsehood I once embraced

Finding my way through a hall of mirrors

‘Incompetent, failure, false, shame, fear, judgement, guilt’

‘Joy, capable, competent, trustworthy, real, acceptance, Love…’

One reflection has no labels and looks nothing like Me, but feels like ME

In this mirror is All, a million stars, a love so expansive, it breaks all boundaries and yet holds All tenderly

Black shadows dancing, swirling, lunging, only to burst into a million more stars, and then a million more

Until all I know is All


61- Cosmic

My therapist called me today and said that I should consider a ritual tonight with my daughter. Little did I know that the lunar eclipse tonight is something very special and rare, and the planets have not been aligned like this for 26,000 years.

She said that tonight is the time to take all of our pains and anything that has been holding us back, write it all down, and then burn it during the eclipse, releasing it forever. She referred me to TheCosmicPath.com, which explains much of the background and significance.

I will reflect later, but for now I am excited to dive into what has been weighing me down my whole life, and release it all forever, together with my daughter on a little beach in the middle of the Pacific…

To be continued….

An excerpt from TheCosmicPath.com:

Sacred Ceremony

So, if you really are choosing to live in alignment with the movement of the Planets and Stars, if you really are open to maximising the opportunities that 2012 astrology and astronomy gifts us all – then this is the weekend to take out your journals or notebooks, set aside some quality ‘me’ time, and write down all that which you are ready to let go of, forgive and release.

Write on paper that can be removed from your journal or notebook. Once you have everything written down over the course of the weekend, (you don’t need to do it all in one sitting as you can go back to it again and again), then, either on Sunday night, or at the actual time of the Full Moon/Eclipse in your time zone (for example; UK 12.11 and CET 13.11) on Monday, create sacred space beneath the Moon, the Stars, or the Sun, in your garden, the woods, or somewhere private, safe and quiet and, in absolute mindfulness, burn the paper on which you have written your unhealed memories.

Observe the paper lifting into the air as it burns, notice the smoke rising towards the Heavens and visualise the past dissolving, transmuting and clearing in the flames, the sacred smoke, and, in your mind’s eye, into pure Light. You may say any consciously chosen words that support release, dissolution and transmutation if this feels appropriate.

All that we are able to release during the May 20th/June 4th Eclipse Window, and most especially what we consciously release on June 4th, is in preparation for the profoundly auspicious and extremely rare Venus Transit that will occur on 06.06.12, of which I shall write of in the days leading up to it.


47- My light, Your light, Our light


“Every war and every conflict between human beings has happened because of some disagreement about names. It is such an unnecessary foolishness, because just beyond the arguing there is a long table of companionship set and waiting for us to … Continue reading