Recorded January 2017
(I really wish this audio was uploadable….because it really catches what I am feeling so much more than the words will… the pauses, the intonation, the sighs…etc)
My usual MO is to plan right now…to plan my mornings, find a goal, set a goal, figure out how to do it. I don’t want to plan anything. I don’t know if they call that depression. I don’t want to do a thing, and I have so much I could do…
“I could wake up early and go work out…” -what’s the point?
“I could get up and do yoga…- but what’s the goal?
“I could get up and dance” – but I honestly want to just sleep.
I don’t have a lot of energy. I’m tired of being sick.
I don’t want to feel my body.
There’s something there.
(Sigh)….and if I feel my body, I’ll have to feel it. I can certainly sense my resistance…to feeling.
Ooooooh,…..it’s tough being human.