86- Survival Mode Antidote

In my lack of awareness yesterday, I was acutely aware of something…. and that was my lack of connection.

I noticed yesterday, while figuring out how to organize and transport my belongings to donation, storage unit, and moving, that I was seemingly disconnected from the divine. My survival mode kicked in, and all the old habits came in. Doubt entered my mind, fear of the unknown, anxiety about my ability to get it all done.

I knew this was all in my head, and due to the lack of time spent dropping into myself. And what else to do when survival mode hits and you need a reminder of your connection to the divine? Go DANCE!

My daughter and I went with Lee to 5Rhythms. It was the first Sunday it was being offered at Makawao Union Church, and they weren’t sure what the turnout would be. Well, it was amazing! The energy was light, positive, clean and loving. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to get into my body and let some tension go, and something very special happened. I connected to my beloved in another beautiful, new yet familiar dance.

Then, the truly unexpected happened. My daughter came and leaned heavily into my bosom. We stood there, mother holding daughter, and Lee holding a space for both of us, for an entire song. She gave all her weight to me, really surrendered for the first time since she was a little girl.

I am not sure, but I think that watching her mom let herself lean fully into someone else, to completely surrender and trust another, allowed her to do the same. The more I soften, the more she softens. Quite the opposite to how I grew up, where resistance met with rigidity. When that happens, something will eventually break, and it’s usually the child.

I am excited for more surrendering, more melting, more softening together.