Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Therapy has a way of bringing up stuff you didn’t know you had in you. Grief, sadness, anxiety, joy, and anger….bitter, raging anger. Yesterday in my hypnotherapy session, I made a HUGE connection to a person who has been bringing much negative energy into my life, and the feeling of being violated. Panic and fear and anger boiled up inside of me that I didn’t know was there. And it came up fast.
This morning, I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed, because I got set off pretty easily. Perhaps my “anger vessel” was still overflowing. Rage boiled up inside of me. Before I exploded, I took the advice of a counselor, suggested my daughter leave the room ASAP, took a yoga mat and went ballistic on my bed. Whew!
We all have anger. It’s when we hold it inside and don’t find a way to express it (safely and constructively) that it causes problems. Some of my anger is from incidences that happened back when I was 19 and 20 years old, so almost half of my life I have been keeping them down. I never expressed the hurt, anger, fear and shame from those times, but I see now that a lot of my current pain is a reaction to similar occurrences happening in my life, a half of a lifetime later.
So, if you happen to have a yoga mat in your home, I highly suggest letting it all out when needed. And say what you are feeling. Scream it, grunt it, spew it if need be. Roll that puppy up nice and tight, and let it out on a bed, a couch, or a floor even. Anger is not pretty, but you can express it while alone and let the storm pass so that in the calm after the storm you will be more clear.
When that destructive anger is expressed, words then become more true, stemming more from the heart vs stemming from the pain. In that rage and for a short time after, images may fly through your head of times past. Connections are made and things become clearer. When once you couldn’t understand why a certain thing someone did or said would cause you to boil inside, it becomes evident the root of that anger. And making that connection is a beautiful thing.
Alright, do you have your yoga mat ready?