This counseling stuff is intense. I say that lightly, because it really is a serious endeavor, yet we can’t take ourselves too seriously when going through it.
My counselor often brings up other people in my life being my mirrors. This wasn’t a new concept, for I was first introduced to it in my Anusara yoga immersion with Skeeter Tichnor (world-class yoga teacher I feel so blessed to know).
It came up today when I mentioned my guilt over incongruent actions toward my daughter. I would go into situations with the best of intentions, but too often find myself acting differently. I told my counselor (let’s just call her M.) that I felt I was too hard on Keely, and that I know I could have been more nurturing. She replied that what I explained was a reflection of my tendency to be too hard on myself and to not take care of my needs and nurture my heart and soul.
I realize now that is so true. During professional school, I was a good student, in leadership positions, and a triathlete who managed to place top 3 in her age group in every local race. Often, I felt guilty for the time I took to do these things.
I was being too hard on myself in the first place, which drove me to strive for perfection in everything I did (impossible), and then I was hard on myself for doing what I thought was good for me. Add to that the fact that I was not taking care of my heart, and you have a mom set up for burn out, which is what happened.
When I take time for myself to step back and look at the people in my life, I can see those who mirror my healthiest sides of myself, and I wonder why I don’t engage with them more. Currently, I mostly engage with those in my counseling team/group. That’s okay for now, as my most important work is with myself and my daughter.
When you engage with people who are incongruent with what you want in your life, look at them as your mirror. If you are with untrustworthy people, it may be because you don’t trust yourself. You may long for intimacy, but until you foster that intimacy with yourself, you will continue to attract those that can not be intimate.
People in our lives are our mirrors. Pay attention to the signs that you need to take better care of yourself, and spend more time with the people that reflect back your innate beauty.
News Flash!!*** Right when I finished this blog, I found THIS ARTICLE on Time Magazine‘s controversial cover.