Ever attended a Non-Violent Communication (NVC) class? Well, now I have! I think if people haven’t done some type of therapy, they may not get the format of the class, which was formatted like a therapy session, with a Check-In … Continue reading →
What we see is what we are. I was thinking today of anger, and people’s reactions to anger. Just like when someone says, “He who smelled it, dealt it,” the same can go for someone who sees a certain emotion … Continue reading →
What I am about to tell you is probably too personal. It may be TMI’ish, but I feel there is something important and widely applicable here. I have had a recent problem with a strange odor, and I have noticed … Continue reading →
A lot of my initial therapy was centered around narcissism. Since I found myself dating so many narcissists, it made sense to look at those elements in my upbringing which reflected what I was experiencing in my relationships. We follow the patterns we are familiar with, which is why we often end up with people who remind us of people in our family.
So, in talking today, the concept of a narcissist creating narcissism came up, which got me thinking. The idea was that a narcissistic person in a family will bring out the narcissistic tendencies in others. I see how, in living with a narcissistic husband, I became more narcissistic as a survival mechanism. In order to make everything OK, I catered to his narcissistic needs, which meant I expected my daughter to help make things okay as well. Hence, under this hypothesis, the daughter would also be narcissistic.
I do feel that in my efforts to make everything okay with the male in my life, I was playing the role of narcissist, and hence I was neglecting both the needs of myself and of my daughter. I see it all too clearly now. When I am not busy caretaking, I am much better equipped to focus on my own needs, and those of my daughter’s. It just takes too much energy to try and keep others happy. That’s their job.
Now that I am realizing that my M.O. has been to make things OK for other people, I am more and more aware of where this has seeped into my life. My partner has pointed out that I am good … Continue reading →
I met with my very special friend Amanda today, and we talked about a lot of things, but one is the programming of our mind that affects our reality. It takes a lot of work to be aware of what … Continue reading →
This counseling stuff is intense. I say that lightly, because it really is a serious endeavor, yet we can’t take ourselves too seriously when going through it. My counselor often brings up other people in my life being my mirrors. … Continue reading →