I have found myself lately wanting to be alone, not to avoid others, but to truly BE with myself. I have so often over the years kept myself too busy and too distracted to spend valuable time with myself getting to know ME.
As my moon cycle approaches, and shifts are happening in my life, I feel a definite pull inward. Before, I would have pushed myself to do, do, do. Now, I am happy to have a good chunk of the day to relax with myself, and to honor my own personal ebb and flow.
I may even kidnap myself away for the rest of the week, like I would a lover on a honeymoon. Yes, a Self-Cation!
Learning, yet again, how important it is to be your own best friend. The more you trust yourself, the more you can trust yourself with others. They are unpredictable, but if you can set safe boundaries for yourself, you can trust yourself to act in your best interest, no matter what.
I am sorely behind on my blogs, but I think that is part of my process. I am seeking to be authentic and honor my feelings.
Lately, I haven’t wanted to blog. I keep a written journal, an audio journal, and a food and feelings journal, on top of many hours of individual and group therapy a week. Sometimes it’s hard to take something down in a blog after all that. Or, the processing was so deep and intimate, I don’t really want to put it out there for general consumption.
Most often, I am just tired of processing. As much as I love realizing all of these things about myself and life, I feel I am on the fast track, and it can have a bit of a whiplash effect on me.
So, there you have it. Processing is tough work, and there is time necessary for integration. Sometimes that means not thinking, not doing, maybe even playing a bit.
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